Hillary Clinton’s Regrets After the 2024 Election: “Maybe I Should Have Run for President… Again?”
In an exclusive interview with The New York Times (sort of), Hillary Clinton opened up about her many regrets after the 2024 election, admitting that she might have made a mistake not running for president once again. “I mean, who needs a vacation, right?” she said while adjusting her collection of presidential campaign pins from every year since 2008. “It’s not like I’m running out of time or anything. Honestly, I thought about it. And maybe I should have just done it… again.”
Clinton, who has been busily attending book signings, self-help seminars, and pretending to care about those “other people” running the country, reflected on her decision not to throw her hat in the ring for a fifth presidential bid. “I’ve been around for decades,” she said, gazing longingly out the window as though she could still smell the faint scent of the 1990s. “Why wouldn’t I? I’m basically the American dream wrapped in a pantsuit. Everyone loves a comeback story, right?”
Sources close to Clinton reported that she began contemplating a return to the spotlight after the 2024 Democratic National Convention, where she casually mentioned to a few aides, “Wouldn’t it be fun to just… you know, win? For once?” According to insiders, this comment was quickly followed by a series of whispered, “What ifs?”
“I thought, ‘Hey, 2024 could be the year,’ but then I remembered all the emails,” Clinton continued. “And the Benghazi thing. And the debates. And all those other things I don’t want to think about ever again. It’s like a fun game of Where’s Waldo—except Waldo’s a scandal and he’s always hiding behind something embarrassing.”
When asked about the 2024 election, Clinton couldn’t help but chuckle bitterly. “Look, I can’t help it if people weren’t ready for a strong, experienced woman with a track record of losing elections and rewriting history,” she said, wiping away a single tear that looked suspiciously like a planned tear. “But really, I was the original frontrunner. The original. I mean, when I ran in 2016, I had a completely unbeatable resume. But hey, I guess you can only be ‘the people’s candidate’ so many times before people decide to go with someone else, right?”
As the conversation drifted toward the current state of American politics, Clinton expressed disappointment in the 2024 results. “I mean, of course I would have won,” she said confidently. “If you just had a candidate who could stand on stage and not say something totally wild every five minutes, everything would have been fine. Not to mention my amazing ability to win the popular vote. Twice! I really should get a trophy for that.”
When asked about any specific moments of regret, Clinton responded, “Well, there was that one time I told a group of kids in Iowa I’d finally take a break and stop running for office. That was probably a bad move. I mean, who doesn’t love a strong woman running for president? I’m basically the definition of what America needs.”
Sources also revealed that Clinton briefly considered offering to “help” in 2024 by staging an elaborate “throwback” campaign—a hologram-powered, greatest-hits tour of her political career, including clips from the 1990s, her Time Magazine covers, and the infamous “I’m With Her” campaign posters from 2016.
“Maybe I should have just tweeted more,” Clinton mused. “You know, something like, ‘I may have lost, but the memes still love me.’ Maybe that would have made a difference.”
In the end, Clinton concluded, “2024 wasn’t my time. But 2028? 2032? Who knows! I’ve still got my pantsuits, my book tour, and the occasional speaking engagement. And as long as there’s a chance, I’ll be ready to step into the ring. After all, you can never count out Hillary Clinton, the political comeback queen. There’s always next time. Or the time after that. Or the time after that…”
When asked for a final piece of advice for her supporters, she sighed dramatically and offered, “Just remember, kids, nothing says ‘presidential material’ like a four-year-old email scandal. Or, you know, three decades of political experience. Pick your poison.”
And so, as Hillary Clinton contemplates her regretful journey through the 2024 election cycle, one thing remains clear: she might not have won this time, but she’s definitely plotting her next move. 2028, get ready. Or not. Maybe she’ll just tweet.
