Democrats Mysteriously Silent on Kamala’s Record, Default to “Trump is Racist” Refrain: Psychologists Baffled
In what psychologists are calling a “predictable, if perplexing, phenomenon,” Democrats, when questioned about Vice President Kamala Harris’s record, display an uncanny ability to remain silent and, after a prolonged pause, inevitably shift gears to call former President Donald Trump a racist, rapist, or sexist. A team of top psychologists, sociologists, and maybe a magician or two are working around the clock to understand what exactly triggers this Pavlovian response.
“It’s a Mystery!” exclaims one researcher
Dr. Joanna Sheffers, a behavioral psychologist with an interest in political conditioning, explains the frustration of the scientific community in untangling this apparent cognitive hiccup. “The moment the question shifts to anything involving the Vice President’s record or specific policy issues, it’s as if they’ve hit a wall and can only reboot with, ‘Trump is racist,’ like a political screensaver,” Dr. Sheffers explained. “We’re close to something here, but it’s almost as if their neural pathways have been rewired to skip critical thinking and go straight for accusations.”
An Uncertain Path to Diagnosis: The DSM-6 Beckons
With this curious phenomenon attracting attention nationwide, some experts are even pushing to introduce a new disorder in the next DSM. This new diagnosis would categorize the inability to discuss specific issues about Democratic politicians while launching into blanket statements about Trump as a “deflection-based associative cognitive disruption.” However, other psychologists say that label is simply too kind. Dr. Todd Rittenhouse, a specialist in political psychology, believes we should call it “Trumplapsia.”
“It’s only fair that we name it after the very figure that seems to trigger this bizarre response pattern,” Rittenhouse said. “Think of it: next time someone’s brain simply cannot process a straightforward question about an elected official and defaults to blaming Trump, we’ll all know they’re suffering from Trumplapsia, and perhaps a round of group therapy can help them recover.”
Cognitive Reboot Therapy: The Answer?
Many experts are hopeful that “cognitive reboot therapy” might help Democrats snap out of their repetition and answer a straightforward question. If successful, they might finally address Kamala’s record, economic policies, or other complex topics without inserting “Trump” in the answer like a political autocorrect. However, skeptics remain.
